Funny Christmas Quotes To Keep You Company This Season

You know it is Christmas when everybody has a fur jacket handy. Someone’s baking, perhaps burning the cake. Turkey or Chicken? Maybe a braii for South Africans.

You don’t need to plan a housewarming party, who needs the stress when everyone is home and happy… and stressing you out?

Can’t remember the last time you saw a movie with family and friends?

Try a new recipe. Got to be ready to add them kilos. Just for Christmas. A water weight never killed anyone. I mean what’s the holiday without food, right?

Isn’t everybody being so nice… mischief in the air? As long as the gifts are coming in…

Is someone going on a vacation? Shopping??? Sales!!!

All in the spirit of the season!!!

Let these funny Christmas quotes unleash the holiday spirit in you.

1. From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other – Emily Matthews.

2. Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal – Lenore Hershey.

3. One good thing about Christmas shopping is it toughens you for the January sales – Grace Kriley.

4. What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present – Don Marquis.

5. I get the same thing for Christmas every year – deeper in debt – Melanie White.

6. For Christmas this year, try giving less. Start with less attitude. There’s more than enough of that in the world as it is – and people will usually just give it back anyway! – Anne Bristow.

7. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Clause… Claustrophobic ?

8. Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name – Erma Bombeck.

9. A true Christmas miracle is when you manage to untangle all your Christmas lights from last year. Double miracle if they still work – Melanie White.

10. Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home – Carol Nelson.

11. Let me see if I’ve got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn’t laundering illegal drug money? – Tom Armstrong.

12. Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking? – Arlo Guthrie.

13. Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money – Author Unknown.

14. He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree – Roy L. Smith.

15. When we were children, we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs? – G.K. Chesterton.

16. If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.

17. There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus – Bob Phillips

18. Mentally I am ready for Christmas, financially I am not ready for Christmas ? .

19. The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin – Jay Leno.

20. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukkah’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall! – Dave Barry.

21. Dear Santa,

This year please give me a fat bank account and a slim body. And please don’t mix those two up like you did last year, Thanks.

22. The milk and cookies are still here but the presents are all gone! I think I’ve been robbed by a diabetic! – Albert Brooks.

23. Bloody Christmas, here again
Let us raise a loving cup
Peace on earth, goodwill to men
And make them do the washing up ? – Wendy Cope.

24. That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me – Jerry Seinfeld.

You May Also Like

Steve Gold’s Net Worth, Biography, Career, Awards, Fact and Life Story

Steve Gold net worth: Steve Gold is an American real estate broker and reality television show personality who has a net worth of $10 million. Steve Gold was born in Stamford, Connecticut in March 1985. He is best known for starring on the Bravo reality TV series Million Dollar Listing New York. The show debuted in 2012 but Gold joined the cast in season six in 2017. Steve Gold is the President and founder of the Gold Group New York City. He has also worked as a luxury real estate broker for TOWN Residential. Gold has worked with designers including Giorgio Armani and Louis Vuitton as a model before he entered into real estate. He graduated from New York University’s Stern School of Business magna cum laude. In his youth he was a sailboat racer. Million Dollar Listing was nominated for Primetime Emmy Awards for Outstanding Unstructured Reality Program in 2014 and 2015.
Read More

Jimmie Walker’s Net Worth, Biography, Career, Awards, Fact and Life Story

Jimmie Walker Net Worth: Jimmie Walker is an American actor and comedian who has a net worth of $800 thousand. Walker is most famous for playing James Evans Jr. (“J.J.”) on the CBS sitcom “Good Times” (1974–1979), where he originated the popular catchphrase “Dyn-O-Mite!” Jimmie began performing stand-up comedy in the late ’60s, and he has more than 50 acting credits to his name, including the films “Let’s Do It Again” (1975) and “Airplane!” (1980), the TV movie “The Greatest Thing That Almost Happened” (1977), and the television shows “At Ease” (1983) and “Bustin’ Loose” (1987–1988). In 2012, Walker published the book “Dynomite!: Good Times, Bad Times, Our Times–A Memoir.”Early Life: Jimmie Walker was born James Carter Walker Jr. on June 25, 1947, in Brooklyn, New York. He grew up in The Bronx with mother Lorena, father James Sr., and sister Beverly. James Sr. worked as a Pullman porter, and Lorena was the head of the nursing department at a hospital. Jimmie attended Theodore Roosevelt High School, and he took part in the SEEK (Search for Education, Evaluation, and Knowledge) program, which was funded by New York State. Through SEEK, Walker learned about radio engineering, and he was hired by the NYC radio station WRVR. Beginning with the 1964 World Series, Jimmie worked as a vendor at Yankee Stadium as a teenager, and Mickey Mantle once gave him a silver dollar.Career: Walker began his stand-up comedy career in 1969, and after appearing on the “Jack Paar Show” and “Rowan & Martin’s Laugh In,” the casting director for “Good Times” spotted Jimmie and cast him as James “J.J.” Evans Jr. The series aired 133 episodes over six seasons and earned Walker two Golden Globe nominations. The catchphrase “Dy-no-mite!,” which is credited to John Rich, one of the show’s directors, was featured in the TV Land special “The 100 Greatest TV Quotes and Catch Phrases.” While starring on “Good Times,” Jimmie released the stand-up comedy album “Dyn-o-mite” (1975). Walker’s co-stars John Amos and Esther Rolle became frustrated with the direction the show went in due to J.J.’s popularity, with Rolle stating, “He’s 18 and he doesn’t work. He can’t read or write. He doesn’t think. The show didn’t start out to be that…Little by little—with the help of the artist, I suppose, because they couldn’t do that to me—they have made J.J. more stupid and enlarged the role.” Amos also voiced his displeasure, saying, “The writers would prefer to put a chicken hat on J.J. and have him prance around saying ‘DY-NO-MITE,’ and that way they could waste a few minutes and not have to write meaningful dialogue.”In 1975, Walker appeared in the Sidney Poitier-directed film “Let’s Do It Again,” followed by 1978s “Rabbit Test” and 1979’s “The Concorde … Airport ’79.” Walker co-starred with James Earl Jones and Debbie Allen in the 1977 television film “The Greatest Thing That Almost Happened,” and that year, he guest-starred on “The Love Boat” for the first time; he would go on to appear in five more episodes of the series. In 1980, Jimmie appeared in the parody film “Airplane!,” which grossed $171 million at the box office, and the TV movie “Murder Can Hurt You,” then he guest-starred on “Fantasy Island” (1982) and “Cagney & Lacey” (1983). He starred as Sgt. Val Valentine on the ABC sitcom “At Ease” in 1983, and from 1987 to 1988, he played Sonny Barnes on the syndicated series “Bustin’ Loose.” Walker starred in the 1987 film “Going Bananas” alongside Dom DeLuise, and he appeared in the 1991 science-fiction movie “The Guyver.” He guest-starred on “The Larry Sanders Show” (1994), “In the House” (1995), “Space Ghost Coast to Coast” (1996), “Scrubs” (2001; 2002), and “Everybody Hates Chris” (2006; 2008), and in the ’90s, he hosted radio shows on WOAI, WHIO, KKAR, and WLS.Jimmie had a cameo in the 2010 film “Big Money Rustlas,” then he appeared in the Syfy movie “Super Shark” (2011) and the comedy “What Goes Around Comes Around” (2012). In 2015, he appeared in the film “Sweet Lorraine,” and in 2016, he co-starred with Robert De Niro, Leslie Mann, Harvey Keitel, Edie Falco, and Danny DeVito in “The Comedian.” In 2019, Walker appeared as himself on “Live in Front of a Studio Audience: Good Times,” which recreated the 1975 episode “The Politicians” with Jay Pharoah playing the role of J.J. The special, which also starred Andre Braugher, Viola Davis, and Tiffany Haddish, won a Primetime Emmy for Outstanding Variety Special (Live). In 2020, Walker appeared in the film “A Wrestling Christmas Miracle.” Jimmie has also appeared on “The $10,000 Pyramid,” “American Bandstand,” “The Midnight Special,” “Match Game,” “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,” and “Late Show with David Letterman” as well as several “Dean Martin Celebrity Roast” specials.Personal Life: On a 2012 episode of “The Wendy Williams Show,” Jimmie stated that he has had numerous girlfriends but has never married or had children. In 2017, it was rumored that Walker was dating conservative pundit Ann Coulter, but Coulter addressed the rumors by tweeting “Best of friends, love him, no romance.” Politically, Jimmie has described himself as a “realist independent” and has said that he opposes affirmative action. In a 2012 interview with CNN, he stated that he is morally opposed to gay marriage but that it “should be passed because the battle is not worth the war.” In 2017, Walker appeared on “Fox News” and voiced his support for Donald Trump, saying “I’m for probably 90 percent of the things he does”Awards and Nominations: In 2006, Jimmie and his “Good Times” co-stars John Amos, Ralph Carter, Ja’net DuBois, and BernNadette Stanis received an Impact Award at the TV Land Awards. The series also earned Walker Golden Globe nominations for Best Supporting Actor – Television in 1975 and 1976.
Read More