Courtship is a time couples prepare to enjoy a strong, healthy marriage. Marriage is a sacred union expected to bond two people together for a lifetime.
However, for some people, the reverse is the case. In recent times marriage has become a joke for some people who feel they can easily go in or out whenever things get awry. But in the beginning, it was not so.
‘A stitch in time saves nine’ they say, therefore, pre-marriage stage is often a critical time when partners should deliberate thoroughly on a concern they must have about each others’ behaviour.
It (courtship) should be a ‘talking’ time and not a ‘touching’ time. Nobody is perfect but there are defects that should not be overlooked to avoid considering or getting a divorce due to some tingling signs that were originally ignored during courtship.
5 Courtship Warning Signs you should NOT Ignore
1. Poor Financial Management
Money usually brings tension in most relationships and if your prospective marriage partner is terrible at managing money, that’s your clue to their ability to manage other personal matters. Money is another top reason crisis emerge in marriage and you don’t want to be in that dreadful position.
According to a research frequent arguments about money can put significant strain on a relationship especially during courtship. You may want to think twice before merging accounts with someone who can’t manage their financial lifestyle.
2. The partner who’s unfaithful
If you know your partner has cheated before then your concern is justified. Infidelity has been one of the major reasons for countless divorce cases around the world.
Hence, getting married may not be in your best interest because the possibility of repetition is high. Cheating is never OK nor should it be tolerated since one more concern is involved – Sexual Transmitted Disease (STD).
If your partner has a history of cheating, it could be a matter of time before you become infected.
Moreso, infidelity demonstrates a lack of integrity. If the person you wish to marry can’t stay faithful now in courtship, what makes you think he/she will suddenly be faithful after marriage?
3. Partner with an addiction
Whatever the addiction must be, drugs, sex, shopping spree, etc, it’s a sure sign of justified concern. This flaw will not only impact your future spouse but also your life and the lives of your children if you decide to marry him/her.
Unless you are willing to cope with it or your partner is willing to get professional help, your marriage may not last very long.
According to a psychologist Susan Pease Gadoua, “all addictive illnesses are progressive.” While it is preventable, an addict has to be willing to get help in order to stop acting self-destructively.
4. A selfish partner
Marriage is all about partnership with a ‘give and take’ deal. Whoever you choose to spend the rest of your life with should not expect to get his or her way all of the time.
If you’re always giving and your partner is not considerate enough to be generous as well during courtship then it’s a warning sign they might not be the marriage material.
If you can discuss the problem and the other makes an effective effort to change for the better then it’s all good. Otherwise, if their selfish behaviour persists and you continue to stay in the relationship, you will likely begin to feel resentment towards them.
Also, you’ll feel emotionally exhausted since it takes a lot of energy to maintain such companionship.
5. Partner with anger issues
Long and short term courtship before marriage is not a guarantee you know the person you’re about to marry completely. But a bad behaviour is difficult to hide and someone with a bad temper can easily be detected.
According to experts, anger can escalate into other abusive behaviours such as emotional and physical violence.
Abuse in a relationship is real and should never be tolerated. It usually starts out small but can get worse over time. Hence, partners should take note of this sign and resolve it, otherwise, there’s no need to diving into marriage.